Wednesday, October 7, 2009

context

I wonder if Father Time ever felt disoriented.... As someone who is operating under his watchful, constant tick tock, I have to tell you that I'm more befuddled than ever over this "time" concept. I have been in Spain for ONE MONTH today. I will be here for some months more. I find myself putting time in all sorts of different contexts, not out of want to go home, simply out of sheer amazement at it's many faces. I have been here for one entire month, I will only be here for a few more. I won't say that it felt like yesterday that I landed in the Madrid Airport, because not only is that cliche, it would be untrue. But that statement shouldn't carry a negative connotation, I've loved my time here, I'm thrilled at the thought of more.

I'm settling into a nice routine after school. I've really gotta tell you how awesome it is not to have to do anything. As the queen of over-scheduling, the girl that had to squeeze in time for precious things like sleep and eating, the concept of coming home and reading a good book or just hanging around with my host brother or walking down to the shopping center with a friend for no good reason are all very much appreciated. My host mother is always apologizing to me for "not having anything to do" and I'll continue to explain to her that that nothingness was my entire reason for coming. To slow down. To breathe. To stop measuring and analyzing and comprehending everything. To just get in touch with what there IS, not with what COULD BE. I'm learning, I'm always learning, but without a giant stack of books at the foot of my bed while I chow down a frozen dinner and weigh out how I'm going to manage a violin lesson, soccer practice, several meetings, and AP testing the next day.

The only thing that I'm expected to do here is be myself. And it's fantastic to figure out a little more each day who that person is. This experience hasn't been completely smooth 100% of the way, I'd be a little concerned if it had. I know there will be tough days. But I also know there will be great days. So I'm seeking the good but embracing the bad. One month in... Doesn't have to be put in the context of anything else.

Besos, Samantha Roma (ps. A lot of my teachers just call me "Roma"... It's my middle name and easier to pronounce with a Spanish accent. I absolutely love it. Oh, and the picture above is at my grandfather's house with two of my young cousins... perfecto)

1 comment:

  1. Can't believe you've been there for one month now...I'll tell ya it feels like just yesterday that I was at my first month point (oh wait, was that cliché? Haha anyway, I am of course so happy for you. And to be honest I'm kind of living through your stories a bit too. I've had my good days for sure but it makes me happy knowing that you're happy.
    Lots of love to my one and only Roma
    Samuel

    ReplyDelete